dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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