You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
