Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
