he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize