i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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