I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
