she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
