They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
