used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
