did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
