he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
