i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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