My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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