they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel like death gave me a hand job
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
