**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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