to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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