Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
