i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just want nice things and good sex
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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