can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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