508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
