Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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