This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
