He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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