Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
she pinky promised me she was 18
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Bring me that man meat
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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