I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
