i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
