we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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