you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
