please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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