Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
worst night to have a conscience
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
