I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
