Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Holy shit dude........stairs
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
