There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
