Nicole vs. Life
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Sober January is a disaster.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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