she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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