just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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