I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I am one with the molecules
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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