Say something about gay babies.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
