yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
