would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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