Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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