Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
