how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize