i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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