did you get engaged???
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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