No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
