i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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