yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
