So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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