im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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