did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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