Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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