i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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