I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
that may or may not have been my penis.
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