What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
