just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
even my farts smell like vagina
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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