Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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