Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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