so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
