i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is it because I queefed?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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