Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
